It's been a year now since the last major piece of you left the house where we once lived. Where I still live. Alone.
A year where I can now look at photos of you and her and now feel a kick in the gut. I find myself wondering briefly what she has that I never did but quickly realize that doesn't even matter. I see your face. Barely recognizable and I realize that I never really knew you. Just as I can sit beside him now too and have an ordinary conversation and clearly look at his face knowing I never really knew him either.
I think though that it's because you both don't really know yourselves. Never did and you both came into my life as I was still searching too - finding myself, my place. And in this year that I have found myself I've forgotten the need for you. For him. A looking glass in times past, no longer needed.
I am just beginning to find myself and I know I'll change constantly on the way but what this year has taught me - what these stories, this journey holds is a love - a pure and unfiltered love - for myself. True love for the first time in my life.
Things will come and go - like you and him - and others too but this love I hold is never-ending and it can't be taken away. It's only me and I am awesome.