(FTA) - February 2014... In Love Again

It's been a year now since the last major piece of you left the house where we once lived.  Where I still live.  Alone.

A year where I can now look at photos of you and her and now feel a kick in the gut.  I find myself wondering briefly what she has that I never did but quickly realize that doesn't even matter.  I see your face.  Barely recognizable and I realize that I never really knew you.  Just as I can sit beside him now too and have an ordinary conversation and clearly look at his face knowing I never really knew him either.

I think though that it's because you both don't really know yourselves.  Never did and you both came into my life as I was still searching too - finding myself, my place.  And in this year that I have found myself I've forgotten the need for you.  For him.  A looking glass in times past, no longer needed.

I am just beginning to find myself and I know I'll change constantly on the way but what this year has taught me - what these stories, this journey holds is a love - a pure and unfiltered love - for myself.  True love for the first time in my life. 

Things will come and go - like you and him - and others too but this love I hold is never-ending and it can't be taken away.  It's only me and I am awesome.