So Tomorrow You Become a Wife

Dear future me,

You are going to be a wife. A wife!! 

Who would have guessed after all the years spent chasing the wrong guys, the few relationships you sabotaged from the start.  And Frank, dear Frank. The man you threw explosives at repeatedly, who still somehow kept coming back- the one you murdered things with so badly even as you always thought he was the one for you. 

Your 21 your old self wouldn't have, not with fortress surrounding your heart, your inability to utter I love you to anyone including your mother.  The power contained in those words too strong to touch. 

Not your 26 year old self, running across the country from a man who saw your soul with eyes wide open, a man who you only ever kissed, both of you feeling the burn in the intensity, eyes open to the fire that would consume your naked bodies.  He laughed in the face of the demons you held in your heart. Saw through their facades and exacting stares, he didn't even blink.  He taught you to dig deeper even as you tore each other apart. 

Not you as a 34 year old moving half way around the world to a country you never knew, to a place that held a married man that once gave you a piece of his heart. 

But there was magic in this city.  New loves and lovers and the biggest of lessons.  A place that taught you how to be happy and be loved.  To love.  A city that nurtured the man you will now call your husband, made him into your best friend until the timing was perfect to vault you into this future. 

So tomorrow you become a wife.  A world of wonder ahead of you with many more lessons to come but you can cross off the biggest of them now, to love and be loved. That you have mastered. 

With love,

J.