I wish I could show you your beauty.
I wish you could see it as I do.
The beauty that exists within you.
You are always beautiful on the outside whether you are decked out for a night on the town or on a sunny winter afternoon as we meet for a coffee. You have a radiance beyond your hair and makeup or clothes that adorn your body.
You shine with beauty.
When you speak of your passions your eyes light up in a way that no one could every deny that you will achieve greatness, your biggest dreams continually coming true. Anything you strive for is yours for the taking.
You are strong too, in both body and mind. Independent yet still soft – warm to everyone around you even as you plant your own two feet. Solo.
I see your beauty in ways that he can’t. Won’t. That he chooses not to. He dulls your flame – I can see it every time he breaks our conversation, as your eyes roll for the hundredth time or the tears prick the corners of your eyes yet again. And yet he has a hold on you.
You are still - after all these years - under his spell.
His push and pull so undeserving of you. Conflicting messages controlling your heart. The way he plants seeds of doubt into your mind and causes you to question everything that you are.
You’re getting stronger though. I can see it – you stand up to him often now, push back, walk away when you must but still you can’t quite let go.
You can’t let go even as he holds the power over your biggest dream, holds you back from ever getting that one thing that you truly want. True love.
He will never be the man for you – it’s always been too hard with him for that to ever change. But he gives you enough to keep going back – the history tethering you together – your loyalty letting you down just this once.
And so, I wish you could see your beauty as I do.
To love yourself fully – to walk away from him and break all ties.
To see that you are worth so much more than a man who strings you along. Who takes much more than he ever gives and who will never be able to give you what you truly want because he still doesn’t love himself enough to share his love with another.
To see that he is holding you back from your dreams of finding another to love completely – who will openly love you back without the games – without the push and pull. The man you can adore and lavish and love out loud and who will do the same for you – happily. Easily.
To see that until you stand up to him, stand up for yourself in spite of all the fears and thoughts of loneliness - to walk away and break all ties completely – you will never have the space to let another man in.
You are getting closer – the love you have for yourself growing by the day.
Let me show you your beauty - show you that you are loved even without him in your life – so that you can one day be loved in return the way you yearn to be.
Let me show you your beauty so you can see it the way the world outside of him does, so your brightness can shine and invite the one meant for you in. The one who will be easy and love you right back.
You deserve nothing less.
You are beautiful.