I’ll admit to catching the tail end of the Bachelor Australia last night – the tv was just turning on and I was in the room next to it. I saw the tears and anguish as he gave out the roses. I don’t know who the girls were and cannot tell you who got eliminated but what did stick with me were her parting words.
Something to the effect of “I’ll cherish him forever because for the first time in my life I was fully myself with someone (him) and he will always have given me that”
Perhaps I’m embellishing, perhaps I’m imposing my incredulousness of it all into that statement but it’s the Bachelor…
The entire premise of the show astounds me, don’t even get me started on the low self esteem of the girls (and guys) who put themselves to be the chosen one.
First off, you shouldn't need to be chosen, love shouldn’t be a contest. And girls, can I just say – you should never give a guy that kind of power over you – the power to judge your worth, to compare you against others that he’s dating at the same time.
I get that some people go onto this show to further their own self interests and fully understand few of these relationships actually last beyond the show but I digress.
My point starting all of this was her comment about being real with someone for the very first time in her life and attributing that all to another person.
It’s not about another person and it doesn’t have to be a one-time thing either.
I get that it’s easier to be vulnerable when it feels safe (though how this happens on national television I’ll never understand). But we can’t always rely on others to create that safety net.
We must create it on our own.
What I have over the years come to realize is that it’s a lot easier to be real, to be open and vulnerable and expose your true self if you like yourself. Fully and completely.
If you choose to embrace the bad choices along side the big successes, the winning right beside the failures, the lessons.
You are perfect exactly as you are. You can be real about it and express yourself completely and it will always be safe when you love yourself above all else.
I’m not saying it’s all going to be perfect, some people may not be ready for you – they may be dealing with their own shit or perhaps you’re a reflection of what they don’t like about themselves and therefore they react. But you, you are perfect.
Be you and let those who relate, who relish your relationship – be it friend or lover – gravitate towards you and keep them close. They are your safety net – the trick is that you can only find them in the first place by being the real you.
Love yourself, you are perfect.