Timing is a funny thing.
Was reminded again today of my exes (can I even call him that) engagement on facebook. It doesn’t bring forth any emotions in me other than to find the humour in the timing of it all.
While his news is spread across the web, my engagement to Shaun is not. Though we were engaged one month to the day before the ex most people wouldn’t know it.
We told family and close friends immediately and the let the news spread through our community of friends and acquaintances, still almost 5 months later people are still finding out for the first time and that’s ok.
This news is ours, a decision between the two of us to embark on our future together.
It’s fun to celebrate and the wedding will be a party. It will be our party.
A celebration for us, surrounded only by those closest to us, choices we are making in terms of what we want and don’t – tradition be damned.
One of many things that makes us perfect for each other is our ability to be true to ourselves, to each other. We are not a couple that is into pleasing others before ourselves, selfish as some might see it. We are living our truth and we are comfortable with that.
We can say yes. We can say no. He can say yes, I can so no and vice versa but we are honest in it all.
I can’t comprehend a life of following the path of what others lay out for us, of them having a say in our biggest moments. Shaun and I are happy because we are in a relationship where we can just be ourselves. We are ourselves. We just are.
And there is beauty in that. It is freeing and honest and I would have it no other way
Perhaps then that is why I now question, in hindsight the ‘relationship’ with my ex. I wasn’t authentic self and the version of him that I’ve ever known only knows how to conform to what others want him to be but that seems to work for him.
We weren’t a match. We weren’t honest. I don’t regret the past – there were lessons there I needed to learn and I’m much better off now for having experienced him. But that is just the past.
I have rediscovered me, honest and real. And I love her. Just as I know Shaun loves me exactly as I am. As I him. As we are. Just being ourselves.