Alone isn't Lonely

I’m an expert at being alone (at least I was).  And as sad as that may seem to many it was actually a blessing in disguise.  It taught me how to love.  It was the silence that gave birth to my biggest dreams and how to achieve them all.

I’m an expert at being alone.

I grew up an only child.  I had two parents that loved me and a biological father who knew enough to let me go but still I was the only child. 

I spent endless hours alone, making up games and stories to entertain myself – my parents often checking in with me as I was quietly doing my own thing.  Even now as a 38 year old I’m very much the same.  I don’t fear being on my own in the ways many people do, I can go out for dinner solo and I can travel the world, I have done it all many times over and I am happy there.

I never truly felt like I was close to many people, often times feeling like I was lacking friends like so many other people I knew.  Sure, I had them but not on that deeper level revealing our true selves like so many people around me.  I have come to appreciate this now as an adult.

I have travelled the world, many times alone.  I find it somewhat scary but always marvel at my independence and ability to find my way somehow – through language barriers and large cities, somehow I survive.  Thrive.  I almost find it easy.

I remember a visit from my parents only six months after I relocated to Australia – moving half way around the world to a country I’d never even visited on only a few months notice – armed with just a job and a temporary (4 year) visa.  I heard them whispering to each other that they were so proud of me – that I could leave everything behind and start over again, create a vibrant life in a whole new world.

I have always been independent, from those days alone in my room, to travelling the world, and to now – engaged to a wonderful man, I still need space to breathe, to touch base with myself, a wonderful place.  Me.

Alone doesn’t mean being lonely.  I am loved and have a circle of friends near and far that I wouldn’t change for the word but still I need to be alone.  The space allows me to recharge, to connect with my innermost thoughts – my hopes and dreams, my fears.  It’s a place for me to breathe life back into myself and to listen to my intuition and the guidance of the universe, to become more me. 

The quiet is a good place to be (sometimes).   Alone isn’t lonely.